The Pete Weber Celebration Breakdown

Originally written 10/31/19

Close your eyes and picture this, if you will.

What's the single most memorable, prolific sports celebration that pops into your head? Any sport, any athlete, any era. What was it for you? Maybe it was Tiger Woods on the 16th hole, jarring a chip from off the back of the green in the final round of the 2005 Masters. Perhaps you’re envisioning Brandi Chastain celebrating shirtless after netting the penalty kick to win the 1999 World Cup. Or maybe it's Michael Jordan elevating over Craig Ehlo, hanging in the atmosphere for an immaculate split second, then draining the game winner and unloading several emphatic fist pumps.

You can open your eyes now.

I’m sorry to inform you that whatever you just pictured in your head is incorrect, and also stupid. The greatest sports celebration that ever was didn’t take place on a field, nor a pitch, nor a court. No, the greatest celebration ever went down on a bowling alley. It all unfolded and history was made on February 26th, 2012 at the 69th (nice) US Open of the Professional Bowlers Association.

Most of you are familiar with the lore by now. It’s been passed down through generations for going on 7 whole years now. I would expect, at this point, that there are grandfathers bouncing grandkids on their knees on front porches, longingly recounting stories about the time old Pete Weber cranked out the strike to end all strikes and took home the gold with the entire bowling world’s eyes upon him. 

This particular US Open was extra meaningful to Pete for several reasons: First, he had a chance to pass his late father as the professional bowler with the most US Open victories of all time. He came into the tournament with four US Open titles and a shot to bag another to break the record, which was held by his own father, Dick Weber. Second, he came into the tournament as the lowest possible seed with an uphill battle ahead of him. This performance was the perfect embodiment of the underdog story that you hear so much about, but rarely get to see in real life. Suffice it to say Pete felt disrespected and he was throwing rocks that day with significant a chip on his shoulder. On top of everything else, throw in the fact that Pete Weber is a certified freak on the lanes, and you've got yourself one hell of a powder keg of a PBA US Open final. There's an aptly named, twenty minute documentary on him called The Bad Boy of Bowling, which I would highly recommend for some background context. Having said all that, I humbly present to you for your viewing pleasure:

 "The Celebration" by Pete Weber

No exaggeration, this is my favorite sports clip on the internet and I think about it often, probably more often than I should. A close friend of mine knows the fascination I have with this and got me an autographed Pete Weber trading card for my 27th birthday. It's one of my most prized possessions. You always hear the quote “Live every day like it’s your last” and I'd be remiss if I didn’t take a few hours of the precious time that I have left on this earth and waste it doing an in-depth frame-by-frame breakdown of Pete Weber’s celebration after winning the US Open. I hope you waste a few minutes reading it.

1. The Address

Sidenote: Let me lead this off by saying if you're not up to date on your bowling lingo, this might be a good opportunity to do so and show some respect to Pete and his fellow PBA athletes. This will be a much easier and enjoyable read if you do so. And if it feels like I'm overusing these terms, it's because I am. Do yourself a favor, brush up on the terminology, and we can continue unabated. Here you go: Bowling Lingo

In his final frame of the championship match, it's clear to see just how determined he is simply by looking at his unnervingly calm/laser focused demeanor. Not a single hair on his head out of place, visualizing his ball's path to the impact point, the moment belongs to him. This is very much unrelated, but I'm gonna go out on a limb here and guess that Pete Weber smells elite. If ever there’s been a man that spends extravagantly on cologne, it’s Pete Weber. Whether or not those glasses are meant solely to shield his eyes from the bright lights of ESPN's broadcast or shroud him in layers of mystery, the underlying fact remains that they look rather badass. There's never been another human being as singularly dialed-in on anything at any given point in time in the history of mankind on this planet.

2. The Armswing

The flexibility! Countless hours of stretching are required to achieve this level of malleability and it makes for the perfect arm swing. To have everything on the line, to know his father is smiling down on him from Heaven's bowling alley, and to step up with a contorting armswing like that is absolutely preposterous. Notice the arm nearly perpendicular to the ground, left arm fully extended (with which to generate balance), eyes still squarely on the entry zone. I'm pretty sure this is what bowling porno looks like. His unbroken gaze foreshadowing what is about to happen both to his opponent and any haters that might wish failure upon him.

3. The Release/The Follow-Through

First of all, notice the arrows where Pete starts his ball, then note that his ball makes initial contact on the right side of the beak. Pete's a certified boomer through and through, obviously the action he puts on this winner is pure bowling erotica. The form remains perfect, left hand splayed outward, right hand pointedly aimed at his destination. It should also be noted that in this frame we get our first glimpse of Pete's glove, a bowler's best friend. Let me also add that at this point in the video clip, in the split second after the ball leaves his hands, the crowd goes absolutely batshit crazy. The quiet stillness of the crowd before and the eruption as soon as he releases the ball is a wild scene. An electric environment for an electric athlete.

4. Impact

The speed and momentum with which his ball slams into the pins leaves no doubt. As if they ever stood a chance, Pete's bowling ball brutally assaults them and there's never been a more sure strike in bowling history. Meanwhile, his unfortunate opponent, Mike Fagan, is forced to sit idly by and watch his US Open title chances go down with the pins like some cruel, front-row watch party. As if things couldn't get any worse for Mr. Fagan, "The Celebration" is about to unfold directly in front of his face. There's something to be said about Gary Thorne's live call, as well. "Strike to claim it, a strike to claim it... Annnnd HE GOT IT!" A perfectly timed delivery followed by silence to give the microphones a chance to capture what turned out to be celebratory nonsensical ranting gold.

5. "The Celebration": Phase 1

By now his fate is secured as the US Open champion for 2012. He’s broken his father's record and locked up his fifth US Open victory. The floodgates are open. What a tidal wave of emotions he must've felt wash over him. In what had to be a bittersweet moment, Pete pocketed the tears and moved straight to... anger?

As we witness Pete come completely unglued on national television at the beginning of Phase 1 of "The Celebration", we notice that at some point he removes and slam dunks his sunglasses onto the wood floor, presumably shattering them into a million pieces. No matter, it's not like he needs the sunglasses anymore at this point, his job here is done.

We hear an emphatic "YES, GODDAMMIT, YES!" as he throws haymaker fist pumps, his face quickly becoming beet red, fueled by unbridled winner's rage. You can spot Pete's wife celebrating in the front row of the stands in the scarf. As ecstatic as some in the crowd look, there are others in the crowd that appear apathetic, almost disappointed with the outcome. When you're the Bad Boy of Bowling, you're bound to make a few enemies.

OPTIONAL SIDENOTE: After watching the following video, it's plain to see why some in the crowd might've been less than pleased to see this polarizing figure come away victorious. Watch the entire thing, then continue reading. To stop what he's doing completely, on national television, and identify one bystander for moving in his approach is high-level bowling pettiness. Even the announcers know to stay out of his way when he's in the zone, this fan would've been well suited to do the same. From that point on, the fan was squarely in Pete's crosshairs. The animosity after every single roll, the pointing, the cocky stare-downs after converting spares, it's all so surreal. Then he GOES AND WINS THE TOURNAMENT. That's some villain shit that I'm firmly here for, now and forever.

On the other hand, others were thrilled, like these guys in the crowd. Maybe a little too thrilled. This is what pure adult, suburban dad bliss looks like. The gentleman in the middle with eyes wide and mouth agape legitimately can't believe what he just saw, he just appears to be stunned. He can’t wait to go home and tell his loving wife Carol what he’s just witnessed. Their underdog and the lowest seed in the entire tournament has just delivered one of the most clutch bowling performances of all time to take down the #1 seed in the US Open championship. Remind me to buy some front-row tickets for the next major bowling event when Pete Weber's in the hunt.

6. The Celebration: Phase 2

As we progress into Phase 2 of "The Celebration", you can see that Pete's skin has transitioned to medically unsafe shades of red by now. What Pete says during this phase is slightly indecipherable, but I've given it my best shot. The entire production is something out of a fever dream, and the announcers do an impeccable job of allowing Pete's rant to be heard start to finish, for better or worse. He furiously bellows to no one in particular, "THAT IS WHY I DID IT! I'M NUMBER FIVE (?), ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!" 

It's in this tender moment that the camera pans to his wife, overcome with emotion (maybe embarrassment?), who has now covered her face. Nevertheless, Pete continues to savor the moment with ridiculous, misplaced rage the likes of which PBA has never seen.

He then appears to shift his attention to the unruly fan that he'd previously sparred with and he dedicates an extra-special fist pump his way with a final death blow: "THAT'S RIGHT!" 

Then, seemingly targeting the same individual in the crowd with a bombastic flare of the arms, he venomously unloads the one line to rule them all: "WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE, I AM!!!" 

I'm having a hard time thinking of a more disrespectful celebration. The raw emotion, the incoherent sentence fragments, the alarmingly red face and popping neck veins. I can't be sure, but at certain angles I think you can see a little smoke coming out of his ears. It's almost like a rush of blood to the head jarred something loose, because in the very next frame we get this:

The head rush. Right here, it looks like he's not entirely sure where he is anymore, visibly dazed but awash in the bloodlust of victory.

From there, after gathering himself momentarily and surveying the fans, he throws a punishing right hook directly into his own left palm and gives it one more "DAMMIT RIGHT!" 

He eventually calms down, receives the prestigious PBA US Open Championship green jacket (arguably as influential as the Masters green jacket), and hoists the legendary US Open trophy for everyone to see. As it turns out, the trophy is basically just a ceramic eagle you could pick up at a seedy gas station along with cheap bongs, incense, and illegal pocket knives. Regardless, he's the US Open Champ and has the trophy to prove it. 

I think part of why this entire sequence of events holds so much traction is because of how similar Pete Weber is to Ernie "Big Ern" McCracken, the villain from the 1996 movie Kingpin. For anyone that's never seen it, you'll have a deeper appreciation of "The Celebration" after watching. Protagonist Roy Munson and his longtime rival "Big Ern" face off in a $1 million winner-take-all event in Reno, Nevada and Bill Murray's character is only slightly more over-the-top than a real-life Pete Weber:

May we all move forward with a better knowledge and appreciation of the things that transpired on that day in February 2012. Let us attack each challenge that life might present us with the same reckless ferocity that Pete showed in that US Open victory. Bless you, Pete Weber, and thank you for "The Celebration".