Tom Brady Should Just Retire Already

(Image via The Ringer)

It brings me no joy to say this as a life-long dedicated Peyton Manning fan, but Tom Brady is the greatest quarterback to ever do it. Is there really any argument at this point? I'm able to remove all bias and admit that freely. He's orchestrated a career that sets the standard for success and accomplished more than most others could ever dream. 

The hard truth is that the time has come for Tom Brady. What does he stand to gain from grinding out another year? What's it gonna take for him to just walk away from the game before he finds himself on the cusp of potential embarrassment? He's 45, maybe he could play at a high level again next year somewhere but it's not just him we have to consider, he'd have to be surrounded with the perfect supporting cast. The bar is set so high for Brady that if he doesn't win a Super Bowl it's considered a failure in his eyes so why even expose yourself to that? The game's given him so much and he's reciprocated to a point where he could call it a career right now and go down in history as the greatest to ever do it and spare himself the disappointment if he doesn't get another ring. So why can't he pull the plug and retire?

This season was a struggle for Brady and it came to an unceremonious end at the hands of the Cowboys this past week. The Bucs weren't particularly "good" all year long and that doesn't look to be changing for 2023, the chances of a Super Bowl are almost nonexistent. The loss the Cowboys was embarrassing, the game was never close, and Brady looked outmatched. This has all been said before and people have tried to rule him out, and he's proved them wrong time and time again, I get that. This time around, it's less about his ability to perform and more about the ability to read the writing on the wall: It'd take a perfect situation for him to reproduce at a truly elite level and I just don't see that happening again at this point in his career. Look at his possible destinations for next season and tell me you think he's winning another NFL title. Maybe he could dink and dunk to another respectable season to pad his stats and cash a check, but he doesn't need either of those things and what good is that really doing in the long run for his legacy?

On the field, he played without his security blanket Rob Gronkowski and some key offensive linemen, and it showed. The partnership between the Bucs offense and Byron Leftwich didn't work out as planned. Even though they advanced to the Wild Card round, it just seemed flukey and they got walloped. It wasn't the result anyone, least of all Tom Brady, was hoping for coming off of a Super Bowl victory two years ago but that's how it goes. The magic just wasn't there and a season like that takes a toll on anyone. Off the field, he went through a very public divorce and lost a shit ton of money in the FTX collapse. Why not cut your losses and just get a job with Fox Sports in the announcers booth?  

The average American works until they're 60+  just so they're afforded the luxury of retirement, a move to Del Boca Vista, and naps all day. Tom Brady has the opportunity to retire and sail off into the sunset, occupy his Florida mansion with much younger models, and enjoy the downtime fapping around in the ocean and getting tan. Maybe he'll even eat a piece of bread and and throw some tomatoes into his diet if he really goes buck wild in retirement. 

I'll be personally offended if he doesn't retire. To come back and risk embarrassment/injury would be a humongous misfire when all he's gotta do is hold one press conference and live a life of ease. The Bucs assembled what they thought would be the best personnel for him to succeed and make another Super Bowl run, but it fell flat. I'm sure other teams are making the same promises but the likelihood is just so low. I'll never understand why guys can't fathom this and just let the competitive part of their brain dissipate, especially for someone like Brady knowing he's accomplished everything he possibly could. 

He's not winning another Super Bowl with the Bucs, that feels abundantly clear. So where does he go? The Raiders? The Jets? The Patriots again? It'd have to be the perfect situation and a lot of external factors would have to align perfectly for any of these scenarios to end in a successful Super Bowl run. If it's me, I'm not taking that risk and walking away while I'm ahead. What's another Super Bowl at this point in his career anyway? 

He's got nothing left to prove. Go be an underwear model. Go get Gisele back. Or don't, and go full Leo DiCaprio and date whoever you want whenever you want. Spend time and raise your kids. Make your own schedule and call some games with Joe Buck. Go get really good at golf. Just don't come back and selfishly try to win another Super Bowl then produce a queef of a season like you just did. Don't leave a skid mark on the legendary career you've built as the greatest quarterback of all time.