FROM THE VAULT: Dan Connolly Kickoff Return

A Frame By Frame Celebration of: "The Kick Return" by Dan Connolly

Some of the most exciting plays in American tackle football take place on kickoffs. The common NFL fan lives for big plays and there aren't many more plays as explosive as a good kickoff return. If you've never settled in on a Sunday, watched Cordarrelle Patterson find a hole and knife his way through a kickoff coverage team for a 100+ yard touchdown, buddy - you've never lived.

Now, as a general rule of thumb, players that weigh 300 lbs. or more aren't designated to carry the ball in any real capacity. They're tasked with moving other bodies to protect and clear pathways for their teammates. With that said, when someone in excess of 300 lbs. DOES carry the ball, that's when the magic happens. There's no thrill quite like watching a thick lord get some live action as a ballcarrier, hauling smaller players on his back like a pack mule.

The only problem is, more often than not, this only happens in certain rare situations. For example, when a pass is batted into the air and snatched by a guard or tackle, or a fumble is recovered in the backfield. But every now and again, lightning strikes and one man defies the odds. Every now and again, the stars align and a mountain of meat does what was previously thought undoable. Today we'll be discussing a chap by the name of Dan Connolly.

As an undrafted free agent in 2005, Connolly started in 71 games throughout a solid career and went on to win a Super Bowl in his final season with the Patriots before retiring. However, it was a 2010 Sunday Night Football game against the Green Bay Packers where arguably his most epic career accomplishment took place.

12 years ago yesterday, on December 19th 2010, Dan Connolly returned a kickoff 71 yards.

With the Patriots down 17-7 to Matt Flynn and the Packers right before the two-minute warning, a score would go a long way going into the halftime locker rooms. Connolly's role on kickoff was to set the wedge and let the return man make something happen. Get the ball out to the 20-30 yard line and let Tom Brady run the two-minute drill. I can confidently say it was never in the special teams' plans for Connolly to touch the football much less field the kick. That's when history was made:

A memorable game.
An even more memorable kick return.
Watch 313-pound @Patriots OL Dan Connolly RUMBLE.

📺: #GBvsNE (2010) re-airs TONIGHT at 8PM ET on @NBCSN pic.twitter.com/30CediGCdo

— NFL (@NFL) April 26, 2020

It's only 13 seconds of action, but it's pure bliss. Let's break this down, frame-by-frame.

Mason Crosby squibs the kick and it doesn't get more than about 8 feet off the ground in an attempt to play keep-away from the return man, bleed some clock, and get to the two-minute warning. In doing so, the ball careens past the 30 yard line directly at 313 pound right guard Dan Connolly - and it's coming in hot. In almost all cases (especially if it's an offensive lineman) one would simply fall on the ball to secure possession and start the next drive at the 25 yard line, same as a touchback...

Not today, bitches.

As a petrified Rob Gronkowski and Alge Crumpler look on, Dan snags it on a bounce, making it look easy.

When Gronk and Crumpler realize what's happening, they find someone to put a hat on. It's officially go time and their big boy is lookin' to get a head of steam, so they jump into action.

Note the unorthodox, fully upright running style with total ball protection thanks to the double eagle grip. Good luck prying that sucker loose.

Much to the surprise of literally everyone in Gillette Stadium, he breaks through the first line of defense. He sees daylight and starts shit pumping his beefy arms, going full bore and moving amazingly well for his size. This unlikely feat of athleticism catches everyone off guard. It's at this point that you hear Chris Collinsworth blurt out "Oh, you gotta be kidding me" as Al Michaels all but pisses his pants with glee. The player in pursuit for Green Bay is Charlie Peprah, a strong safety, and boy did he take a nightmarish angle. He's now chasing down Connolly who has picked up significant speed for a man that size.

In the physics world, momentum is the mass of the object times velocity - in other words, Dan Connolly was a human wrecking ball. If advanced analytics were around back then I would've loved to have seen what his peak speed was. With some green grass in front of him, he breaks the double eagle and starts churning.

The Packers defender finally gains ground and gets hands on him, only for Connolly to dish out a Heisman-esque stiff arm. Peprah made first contact with him around the 40 yard line, but it made no difference. Connolly shrugged him off like a gnat and didn't bat an eye. Arm tackles were never gonna cut it in this scenario with a big angry ox running the ball able to smell the endzone. Sergio Brown (#38) throws a block, shoving Peprah out of bounds and out of the play. Connolly hasn't broken stride yet despite the attempt by Peprah.

For a brief second, it looks like he has only the kicker to beat for his touchdown. As you can see, the Packers are taking him seriously now and taking proper angles.

With just two guys to beat, one of them being a kicker (not known for elite tackling), running back Sammy Morris (#34) bolts downfield to reverse the roles and throw a lead block for the big man.

He does exactly that, essentially assaulting Mason Crosby from behind (block in the back?) but eliminating one of the two remaining threats.

With the agility of a cat, he pays no mind to the trail of bodies in his wake and nimbly cuts inside, putting Atari Bigby (#20, great name) in a blender and pushing him aside.

With one last ditch effort, Rob Francois (#49) makes a leaping attempt. With his stride momentarily interrupted, this leaves Dan Connolly susceptible from the rear.

Maybe Rob Ninkovich (#50) could've gotten involved instead of running alongside and observing the entire time. Too late, pal. Not to put this whole thing on him but he would've scored if Ninkovich had left it all on the field there. Way to blow it, man.

At long last, Dan Connolly has been felled. So very close to a legendary "Thick Six", but thwarted at the last second. Again, note the ball security. That definitely didn't go unnoticed in the film room.

Quick little barrel roll.

Gassed, maybe a little disoriented as to what just happened.

His teammates swarm him. What a moment. A 71-yard kick return down inside the 5-yard line. Now in the record books with the longest kick return by an offensive lineman in NFL history, he went on to win AFC Special Teams Player of the Week that week.

Now would be a good time to remind you that offensive linemen are absolute FREAK athletes. All of those guys are able to move like that and crunch your bones into dust if they so choose.

I think it's time we revisit the Heisman Trophy and finally get it right.