Tua Tagovailoa Is Sporting A New Tribal Sleeve Tattoo Which Guarantees He Will Not Get Injured This Season

This is a VERY important training camp development. People might not give this much attention but this is bigger than you may think and will have a lasting effect on the 2023 season. Tua Tagovailoa got a tattoo.

Make no mistake, it's not a "dumb" tattoo. In my experience, a tattoo should have meaning so you can explain it without looking like a big dummy. Plus, if you just go into the tattoo parlor and mindlessly point to the wall for a design, there's a chance you might regret it someday. There are some folks are out there actually voluntarily getting barbed wire or tribal tats. That's fine, it's always your body/your choice, but know that tribals are generally off limits to those that are not at all part of an actual tribe. 
Tua was born in Hawaii and is of Samoan descent, so he got a massive, full-sleeve tribal tattoo on his right arm that represents his heritage and its traditions. This is all I need to see to know that Tua's offseason training is going to pay off and he'll take the next step this upcoming season. Mark it down now: Tua is injury-free in 2023 thanks to the power granted to him when he got this, and second-year head coach Mike McDaniel wins Coach of the Year. I'd like to believe he spent all summer learning how to fall down better and getting this masterpiece on his arm, so we've got nothing to worry about. Whatever injury history you think he had can now be put to rest because the full sleeve acts as a protective aura of sorts. 

If you've ever seen "Moana", you know that a tattoo like this is not just culturally significant, it also looks sick. It can "represent community, power, respect, honor, and is a mark of pride". Don't get one if you're not Samoan, it's mega disrespectful and you'll look like a dipshit. 

Overall, what we're seeing is a leveled-up Tua entering 2023, finally achieving his true form. I expect him to come into his fourth season at Super Saiyan levels of focus and health, thanks in part to his new ink. I had Tua as my QB14 before I knew he was getting this tattoo, but this changes things. With Tyreek Hill and Jaylen Waddle at his disposal, newly-inked Tua is comfortably a Top-6/7 QB in 2023 - I'll bravely go on the record saying that. Health will no longer be an issue for Tua and those days of uncertainty are behind him.

Other notable Samoans capable of overcoming the odds and amazing feats of strength:  


Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Jeff Goodman Is A Loser

Image
I've been at war with the national media for almost 7 years. It's not a big deal, but I've been fighting the good fight ever since "Schiano Sunday" in late 2017 when my eyes were opened to the shit that happens when media members "befriend" coaches and athletic directors. It's a dangerous game and there's a lot of behind-the-scenes maneuvering to make sure stories break the way that people want them to.  Whenever you're reading anything that's written by these select few, just know that they're very sensitive, fragile individuals. Jeff Goodman, Pat Forde, Dan Wolken, Dennis Dodd... they're all hyper-sensitive and soft. If a coach/AD is friendly and makes these dorks feel important, then they generally act nicer and will even volunteer to carry their water. If a coach/AD is mean to them in a presser or ignores calls and doesn't scratch their belly, then they tend to become very fussy and resort to hit pieces. This is the way t...
Read more

2023 Fantasy Football Boys Superlatives

Image
I'm a little sad writing this because it's the first week back after the New Year and we've reached "resting starters" territory for this week's NFL games. This signals the beginning of the end of the 2023 season, so make sure you don't take a second for granted.  With that said, these games are gonna suck out loud. Here's a teaser: Carson Wentz is starting for the Rams.  While the NFL schedule still draws breath, the 2023 fantasy football season has officially gone dormant. With this period of hibernation comes a flurry of expert rankings, recaps, and end-of-the-year musings. On behalf of the fantasy football department, welcome to the Fantasy Football Boys 2023 superlatives , honoring 2023's best and worst.  1. ⭐ Overall Shining Star Best Boy MVP ⭐ - Given to the best overall fantasy player in the whole wide world.  WINNER: Christian McCaffrey This one's easy. He's solely responsible for something like 30% of the fantasy championships ou...
Read more

FFB WEEK 3: TWELVE TAKEAWAYS

Image
Welcome to a Wednesday edition of Twelve Takeaways. Apologies for the tardiness.   1. The Titans once again have a problem at quarterback. I said he was fit for a demotion last week , and I can't believe he wasn't benched in their loss to the Packers, but one thing's clear at this point: Will Levis is not the guy and he's not set up to succeed as a Titan. On Sunday, he was 26/34 for 260 yards and 2 TDs (hey, not bad!) but committed costly 3 turnovers (again? shit).   What else is there to say? The bad has vastly outweighed the good, his ball security and inconsistency is an issue, and any time he does takes a baby step forward he finds new and inventive ways to take multiple steps back.    I've previously referred to Levis as a "charity draft pick"  and I stand by that. In the 2023 draft, the Titans front office said "Sure, why not? Could be fun!" to a career-subpar quarterback. They could've drafted ancillary pieces and planned ahead for wha...
Read more