2023 Fantasy Football Boys Superlatives

I'm a little sad writing this because it's the first week back after the New Year and we've reached "resting starters" territory for this week's NFL games. This signals the beginning of the end of the 2023 season, so make sure you don't take a second for granted. 

With that said, these games are gonna suck out loud. Here's a teaser: Carson Wentz is starting for the Rams. 

While the NFL schedule still draws breath, the 2023 fantasy football season has officially gone dormant. With this period of hibernation comes a flurry of expert rankings, recaps, and end-of-the-year musings. On behalf of the fantasy football department, welcome to the Fantasy Football Boys 2023 superlatives, honoring 2023's best and worst. 

1. ⭐ Overall Shining Star Best Boy MVP ⭐ - Given to the best overall fantasy player in the whole wide world. 

WINNER: Christian McCaffrey

This one's easy. He's solely responsible for something like 30% of the fantasy championships out there (I think?Don't check my math, you get the point).

An incredible Christian McCaffrey stat: he is on the roster for one of the two teams playing for a fantasy championship in 59% of @ESPNFantasy leagues. pic.twitter.com/LhVwLTkpeJ

— Field Yates (@FieldYates) December 31, 2023

Let's once again just fully submerge and soak ourselves in the 2023 stats for Christian McCaffrey: 339 touches, 2023 scrimmage yards, 21 touchdowns. He must've ignored the running back age decline theory; at 27 years old with one game remaining, he's had the best season of his life. He lived up to his 1.01 tag and then much, much more. He's the clear choice for Most Valuble fantasy Player and it's not close. 

2. Connor Stalions' "Epic Thievery Award" [Best Waiver Steal] - Guys that make you say "I didn't expect all this but by-golly am I glad I drafted 'em late/picked 'em up early". 

WINNER: Kyren Williams

Preseason fantasy ranks: ADP 271, RB71. Not even on anyone's radar.  

 

Current fantasy ranks: RB3, 223 fantasy points scored. That's counting 4 missed games.

INSANE levels of production this year and he singlehandedly locked up fantasy championships with 3 TDs and 30 fantasy points this past week. If he hadn't hit the IR in week 7, he was on pace to be only the second RB to go for 300+ points on the season. We're talking about a second-year, relative nobody coming into 2023 who had 44 touches all of last season as a rookie. Congrats to those that got him on waivers early or the select few that threw a dart late in their draft, he's been a true diamond in the rough. 

Kyren Williams has 15 TD in 12 games.

— Andrew Siciliano (@AndrewSiciliano) December 31, 2023

3. The Applebee's "Post-$1 Margarita Hangover Award" [Fantasy Flop of the Year] - Makes You Feel Like You Have The Rotgut For Ever Trusting Them - Beware the Dollaritas. 

WINNER: Austin Ekeler

Classic counterpoint time: If anyone does want to make the ageist argument with older running backs, Austin Ekeler should be Exhibit A. He's having the worst season of his career which isn't coming at the best time since he's 28. This is all easy to say now but not all that long ago he was preseason RB2 with an ADP of 3. He was the prototype for dual threat running backs and the Chargers offense was set to be (...wait for it...) electrifying. 

Fast forward a few months and it's been pure misery - Brandon Staley is a goner and Justin Herbert has broken fingers on both hands. The offense is a mess, Mike Williams is hurt and Quentin Johnston is dropping passes at a breakneck pace. Austin Ekeler has only been able to log 6 total touchdowns and he didn't go >20 fantasy points (half-PPR) a single time after week 1. He's currently at 50% of last year's fantasy total (151.2 points) and it's not at all a stretch to say that he's the single biggest disappointment of 2023. He was largely a product of his dysfunctional environment, the last two seasons weren't flukes, and there was some rotten luck behind all this:

D'Andre Swift, Austin Ekeler and Joe Mixon have been tackled at the one-yard line and did NOT score a TD on the same drive an NFL-high 6 (!) times this season. Sheesh

— Ian Hartitz (@Ihartitz) December 25, 2023

Do you buy the dip? Or was this a trust-breaker... Whatever it is you decide, it should be interesting to see where he falls heading into 2024. 

Honorable Mention: Tony Pollard

There was plenty of optimism surrounding Pollard, who carried a preseason ADP of 16 and RB6 tag, and with good reason! It wasn't unreasonable, so don't feel bad if you got burnt because you're not alone. As part of a timeshare last season, he was efficient with his 232 touches, averaging 5.9 yards per touch on the way to 1378 scrimmage yards and 12 total scores. Tragically, as the lead back, he's only been able to get to 4.3 yards per touch (288 touches), 1230 yards and 5 TDs (2 of which came in week 1, it was all downhill from there). He's topped 100 yards on the ground just once all year and avoided the end zone like the plague for most of the year. If there was a better option in Dallas he likely would've been splitting carries, but there's not so his workload stayed steady. He finishes out 2023 as the tepid RB18.

Honorable Mention Pt. II: Patrick Mahomes

Maybe 2022 was an unfair precedent, but Mahomes looks like he'll come up around 100 fantasy points short of last year's astronomical mark of 427. The more normalized expected number is probably closer to 375 fantasy points in a season, but he's yet to even break 300 heading into week 17. He's been grinding with some new faces on offense and the struggles have been well-documented. He's currently QB7, so he's been consistent if nothing else, but I can't go any further than "consistently average" and the career-high turnovers have been a puzzling thorn in his side. I hate to pile on, but preseason QB1 and an ADP of 12 for this? Simply horrid. Anyone that shot their wad and took him in the first two rounds was retroactively punished all season long. At least he had a nice, toasty time on NYE.  

Honorable Mention Pt. III: Justin Jefferson*

With a preseason ADP of 3, I understand why he's in here as current WR38 but I still have a harder time looping him in because of his injuries. He flopped because he was out for legitimately half the season, not because he played poorly. This was good, old-fashioned shit luck for fantasy owners that took him expecting WR1 stuff and were without his services from weeks 5 to 14. Injury flops aren't fair, but he was a colossal letdown just the same.

4. Extreme Relaxation Award [Most Reliable] - A player so trustworthy you can comfortably set it and forget it. A source of mindless relaxation within your roster all season long.

WINNER: Amon-Ra St. Brown

I mean this in the best way possible, but Amon-Ra St. Brown has been boring. Tyreek Hill chased history and CeeDee Lamb has broken records, so he could've even been overshadowed a bit. Make no mistake, boring is a compliment here. All he's done is show up, put up numbers, and give fantasy owners reliable points every single week. One slip-up in week 14 (3.60 points, WR55), but otherwise he averaged out as WR12 the rest of the time with WR5, WR8, and WR7 in the last 3 weeks of the fantasy season. There was never a complete bombshell 30+ point game, and he was over 20 points 4 times so that goes to show how relentlessly steady he was. Elite, S-tier stuff from ARSB and he belongs in the conversation with Justin Jefferson, Ja'Marr Chase, and CeeDee Lamb in that upper echelon.  

Honorable Mention: Rachaad White

What a job by Dave Canales! He more or less revived Baker Mayfield's career and as part of that, he unlocked Rachaad White. I've referred to him almost exclusively as "CMC-lite" this year because of his pass-catching ability out of the backfield to go with solid work on the ground. Coming into 2023 campaign, he ranked as the RB25 with an ADP of 61, so anyone that drafted him in mid-to-late rounds was handsomely rewarded with RB5-caliber output. His diverse blend of touches (253 carries, 60 receptions) has resulted in 1446 scrimmage yards and 9 TDs. 

5. Gary Busey's "Rookie of the Year" Award - 

WINNER: Puka Nacua

Everyone noticed Puka as preseason standout and a potential rookie to keep an eye on. He then capitalized on Cooper Kupp's early absence and opened up with 39 catches catches in his first four NFL starts, including three 100-yard games in there. There was some concern that Kupp's return would diminish his target share, but he's stayed wildly involved and sits at WR6 in half-PPR leagues with 101 catches for 1445 yards and 5 TDs. Averaging over 9 targets a game alongside Cooper Kupp, the Rams suddenly have themselves another formidable pair at receiver and Puka is here to stay. Kyren Williams and Puka Nacua have been unstoppable forces and Sean McVay deserves some credit for the vision because I'm not sure anyone foresaw Puka Nacua outplaying the likes of Ja'Marr Chase/Stefon Diggs/Justin Jefferson in 2023. 

It was hard not to throw Sam LaPorta in here as he unseated Travis Kelce as fantasy's top tight end but Puka's just been too damn good.  

6. The Kim Kardashian Award [Comeback Player of the Year] -

WINNER: Joe Flacco

 

This is less related to fantasy but I don't even care. Damar Hamlin is going to win in real life, and Tua has bounced back nicely from his brain scramblies, but let's sift through the bullshit. The Dolphins are frauds and Damar Hamlin has been a healthy scratch more often than not. The Browns, however, have won 4 straight, for anyone that's keeping count. Reminder that Joe Flacco was sitting in his La-Z-Boy a few weeks ago when he got the call. 

In the last 4 that the Browns have won, he's gone for 300+ yards in each game and he's thrown 11 TD passes. Small sample size, I know, but the Browns are headed to the playoffs in no small measure thanks to Joe Flacco providing stability at QB. He's also provided an important late surge for fantasy owners that might've encountered tough times at QB/were brave enough to trust him in the playoffs. He's been QB7 since he took over as starter in week 13. They're the second team ever to start 5 separate quarterbacks and make the playoffs, and Kevin Stefanski is Coach of the Year.  

P.S. There could also be a (more realistic) argument made for Dak Prescott and his body of work. This is me recognizing Dak as a worthy recipient of this award as QB4, sporting a sterling 32 TDs/8 INTs ratio, and vastly improving from 2022 when he was mostly written off. Unfortunately, what's done is done and I already gave the award to Flacco.  

7. Best Arms Award [Non-Fantasy Award]

LANDSLIDE WINNER: Danielle Hunter 

Sorry, Will Levis. Maybe next year. 

8. Best Abs Award [Also Non-Fantasy Related]

You really thought you were getting outta here without one of the GQ pictures from CMC's cringe photoshoot? Think again. 

I'm a giver, and I'm overflowing with joy to have been able to be a part of so many championships. There's no other way you could've won unless you've been reading this, so I'll wear it as a badge of honor. 

Cheers to everyone, you can rest easy knowing you don't have to win the waiver wire right now. 

More fantasy content is incoming as we prepare for the NFL draft, rookie tiers, and way-too-early 2024 rankings. 

Thanks for reading all season, you guys.