The Waste Management Phoenix Open Was Predictably Dumb Once Again

I'm just gonna go ahead and say it even though I know it might be an unpopular opinion.  

I hate what the WMPO has morphed into.

I'm sure there'll be some that say I have a massive dump in my pants, but it's gotten stupid. Everyone seems to be OBSESSED with the Waste Management Phoenix Open and it's become the most popular bro-centric destination of the year for many, so I'll tread lightly. First, I'll say that TPC Scottsdale is a fantastic venue and the 16th hole is iconic, no doubt about it. I love golf and I love beers, there's a certain balance there that can be struck. The player/fan engagement on 16 is a fun, refreshing way to interact with guys that are robotic more often than not. This looser environment is part of why it's become so popular to the point that it's now damn near unbearable. A portion of fans have taken this thing that is good at its core and turned it into a rotten mess. It's a classic "give people an inch and they'll try to take a mile" situation. 

What is this tournament anymore? It's closer to the Gathering of the Juggalos than it is a PGA Tour event. 

I'm all for a good time, but how far is too far? Where's the line? 

Let's start with what I believe should be a fairly routine baseline marker and that is: "not peeing your pants". How bad of a time is this guy having to sit on one of those metal stools and fully empty his bladder? 

One lady fell out of the stands and got pretty badly hurt, which is not ideal. Officials cut off alcohol sales altogether because people were just being too damn stupid. Overall, I'd say it was an unmitigated disaster, a party that got out of hand and became uncontrollable. It wouldn't surprise me if there were way harsher rules next year, and that'd be no one's fault but the fans you're about to see. It's just become too much and that's a shame for the people who keep it together and handle their alcohol or just go for the golf. 

Too many fans are cross-eyed dipshits, not even there to watch golf. They're in attendance solely to heckle players and yell in backswings while crushing epic beers with their boys. I'm not a snooty loser who hates fun, but have enough sense to at least wait until people are done swinging to be a drunk annoying shithead.

You’ve got grown men on the ground fighting. As Dierks Bentley wisely said, "y'all take that redneck stuff outside". 

You've got sloppy drunk fatsos going tits-out and rolling around in the mud. Epic! Just like a slip 'n slide at the Sig Ep house am I right? The WMPO has sadly turned into a massive consortium of the worst type of close-talking, raspy, sweaty humans that you would ordinarily avoid like the plague in any other social space.   Whatever. People can do what they want. But the no holds barred identity that this tournament has taken on is a bit tired and they're gonna have to roll things back to some degree in 2025. It’s one thing to have a rowdy crowd on the 16th, booing missed greens and cheering birdies. It’s another to have adults covered in shit/piss/puke/mud heckling players and just generally being obnoxious drunks. 

Who knows what was said here but it wasn't nothing to get ZJ's panties in an uproar (Zach Johnson may have been a little bit of a wimp about it, but still). Maybe this is my official "you're lame and old" moment for siding with Zach Johnson, but I don't care. 

Every video I see posted from the Waste Management Phoenix Open makes me happier to watch from the comfort of my couch and NOT be surrounded by ten thousand hammered, muddy, shirtless imbeciles that are treating this event like their own personal pig-trough outhouse frat party. 

Long gone are the days where the crowd respectfully gets buzzed and goes bananas when Tiger makes an ace on 16, giving us the finest golf clip of all time. Let's all remember the good times. Back when we were a proper society that had a sliver of dignity and all of our clothes were still on.   


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