The National Media Hates The Vols, Vol. 1: March Madness Edition

If you know me, you know that "_____ hates the Vols" has been a recurring theme of mine for a number of years. It started mostly as a joke; a coping mechanism with which to endure a long, arduous stretch of disappointment and dogshit in Tennessee athletics. Sadly, if you pay close attention, it's actually morphed and evolved into a very real thing. 

After the Tennessee men's hoops squad upset Duke with a final score of 65-52 to advance to the Sweet 16 this past weekend, the undeniable hatred from the national media was on full display. They couldn't hold it in any longer. Cowardly national media puppets tend to have full-on diarrhea diapers over anything and everything Vols athletics and every move we make. The most recent losers to flap their gums because something good happened to Tennessee are Jay Bilas, Doug Gottlieb, and of course the walking anal bead himself, Pat Forde. 

Jay Bilas - Hates the Vols

ESPN analyst and Duke alum Jay Bilas attributed the loss to the officiating and spent the better part of the next segment following the game openly bashing the refs, as any true professional would. He claimed it was "not a basketball game. It was a hockey game. It was officiated like a hockey game. I can't understand why. I've talked to several officials about it and all of them seem to agree that that should not have happened that way, but we're seeing that more and more." Translation: the Vols play tough defense and that physicality got to Duke, so they lost. Go tweet another Young Jeezy line, you colossal dork. While he's crying on the toilet taking sadness shits over the next few days, maybe he can brush up on some of his own sage advice from this book titled 'Toughness' and quit crying because our defense was too stifling:

What are Bilas and Duke fans even whining about? We established the tone early and you tried flopping the entire game, sorry that didn't work out. Uros Plavsic had two fouls literally within 30 seconds guarding Kyle Filipowski, if that's what you're all referring to. To be fair, we aren't responsible for what our big, filthy Serbian assassin does. He's a bit of a wildcard and they called those fouls, even reviewed one of them. 

Kyle Filipowski took an elbow to the eye but that was just a basketball play, unfortunate place to be with the razor elbows of Jonas Aidoo coming downward. He shouldn't have been standing there! The game was called pretty evenly and we outperformed them across the board. An elite defense was disruptive and Jay Bilas can't fathom that, so he started crying on live television. Maybe don't turn it over 15 times to just 9 on our end. Or crash the boards, get a few offensive rebounds and some second chance points (we had twice the amount of offensive rebounds than them with 12). Make a few more threes or throw a hand in Nkamhoua's face one time. 

I understand that this is a supremely spoiled fanbase that's used to special treatment, but Coach K and his dyed hair are not walking through that door. You got whipped, get ahold of yourselves.   

To their credit the team and Jon Scheyer took full responsibility after the game, which was refreshing. 

Thankfully they have a clown army to try and formulate the rhetoric that Tennessee is a dirty team for them, starting with Jay Bilas. If he can't give his unbiased commentary on it then maybe he shouldn't be on TV. No surprise that former Duke alum/former player/former assistant coach Jay Bilas was up in arms about the outcome of the game:  

Doug Gottlieb - Hates the Vols

Nobody respects Doug Gottlieb, but he decided to throw his hat into the ring anyway:

I'm not even sure what this means... Euros? Like Europeans? Or Uros, his name? Seems like it could be a generalization if he's referring to European basketball players as being dirty. Doug is a known shithead (credit card theft) with a notoriously smooth brain so for him to call anyone "dirty" is rich. He very well could've misspelled a name because he has the IQ of a mosquito, so we'll just leave that one up there for your interpretation.

Pat Forde - REALLY Hates the Vols

Last but certainly not least, Pat Forde must've been in dire need of some clicks so he chimed in with an anti-Vols take. He crawled out of whatever rancid hole he was in just long enough to tweet this, then disappear - a tactic shamelessly deployed to incite riots amongst Vols fans. You'll only ever see negative things written about the entire Tennessee fanbase in Pat's columns, so it's best not to click. He remains an outdated little man, devoid of talent, that exists solely to antagonize Tennessee fans for engagement and get high on his own farts. He's in the Tennessee Hater Hall of Fame. Here he is looking chill at a bar probably drinking a water he brought from home.

 




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