Fantasy Football Boys

A 21-year-old Tallahassee woman is lucky to be alive after her vehicle went airborne on a south Georgia highway last week. Join us during the Eyewitness News at 4 p.m. today to learn more about what happened. @wctv pic.twitter.com/xpxXMTydfR — Katie Kaplan (@KatieKaplanTV) May 30, 2023 Before we go any further, the driver lived. But holy shit! She hit that thing absolutely flying and went so far. How does this even happen on the interstate?  Knowing that she was able to live to tell the tale I'll go ahead and say it: that jump was badass as shit .  Who hasn't seen one of those on the side of the road and gotten "Vin Diesel Fast & Furious" thoughts popping into their head? Every time I see one of these I think of how fun it'd be to just take it at top speed and let the ramp do it's thing:  Glad she's okay, it's an early frontrunner for internet video of the year paired with the police officer's reaction. 

UMP SHOW ALERT Umpire Jerry Layne steps into the box and gets in Jeremy Peña’s face after Jeremy disagrees with the call The Astros dugout gets fired up and Alex Cintron gets ejected pic.twitter.com/9KhT6x8C7M — APOLLO MEDIA (@ApolloHOU) May 31, 2023 A new Ump Show achievement has been unlocked by confronting a player in the batter's box and demanding that he respect your authority. Jerry Layne had his ego slightly damaged after Jeremy Peña disagreed with a strike call so he told him to pipe down and take his medicine. He ejected the Astros hitting coach and shooed the dugout like they weren't allowed to question him. To make matters worse, it was actually a bad call! The MLB has a real-time strike zone on TV broadcasts and it clearly wasn't even a strike. Jeremy Peña had a case and the umpire looks like a giant asshole once again.   If there's an internal grading system for MLB umpires, it needs to be scrapped. If there was anything like that in place, how do you expla...

Folks.  It’s called Power Slap and it’s a thing that exists. For anyone that’s not in the loop or just discovering this, like myself, here’s the shakedown: Who? : People who can give & receive powerful slaps. For example. Here’s the current heavyweight champion, a man that goes by “Wolverine”.  His real name is Ron Bata and he lives in Arkansas. Interestingly enough, his UFC profile has his Octagon debut as May 30, 2023. Maybe he’s using Power Slap as a way to transition into his first love: cage-fighting.  Anyways, first impressions go a long way - this guy looks mean as shit and more importantly, his league-issued Monster Energy sweatpants are tucked into his boots. This is an automatic “DO NOT FUCK WITH” if seen in public. My best guess is this guy was already fighting people at bars, hustling slapfights and breaking beer bottles over peoples’ heads, so it only made sense to take it professional. What? : An actual real-life league where you powerfully slap and are ...

Patrick Mahomes doesn’t seem bothered that other quarterbacks make more money than him, he just wants to ball with his bros. He’s more worried about getting rings and cementing his legacy - a true football guy, through and through.  Comparatively speaking from a football business standpoint, Mahomes not making top-5 money is insane and the Chiefs are getting the bargain of a lifetime on the best in the league. The Chiefs front office has to absolutely love seeing their franchise QB say things like this because all he cares about is winning.  #Chiefs QB Patrick Mahomes was asked about his contract and how so many other QBs have passed him: "I worry about legacy and winning rings more than money at this moment." "I've made enough money where I'll be set for the rest of my life." (📽️ @Chiefs ) pic.twitter.com/NWhfxcSkWr — Ari Meirov (@MySportsUpdate) May 24, 2023 It’s refreshing to hear this level of perspective, especially from Patrick Mahomes. He could v...

The NFL has passed a new rule instituting all fair catches and touchbacks come out to the 25-yard line on kickoffs, source said. Now the same as the college rule, the thought is that this should make it safer, though special teams coaches around the league oppose the change. — Ian Rapoport (@RapSheet) May 23, 2023 Speaking on the new fair catch rule, NFL exec Jeff Miller cites higher concussion rates on kickoffs and punts relative to other plays and says unprompted: “There may be more to come.” Modeling says return rate will drop from 38% to 31% and concussion rate drop 15%, Miller says. — Tom Pelissero (@TomPelissero) May 23, 2023 Don’t look now but the tackle football league consisting of guys that weigh 300 pounds and run sub-5 second forty yard dashes is wrought with concussion issues. Who woulda thought? So long as this remains a full-contact league I’m not sure concussions are going away, but that’s not stopping fans from watching the carnage nor the NFL from trying to take p...

Do you agree or disagree with JJ Redick’s thoughts on the Ja Morant situation? 🤔 pic.twitter.com/V0WimSRaHM — Action 247 (@TNAction247) May 17, 2023 There's a lot to unpack here in this 1:32 clip from this morning's First Take segment. JJ Redick starts out by making sure everyone knows he doesn't agree with Ja Morant's antics. There was some shit he was accused of leading up to the first strip club/gun incident. JJ is confirmed not a "harass mall security guards" or "threaten teenagers" guy. These are all fine points that most logical humans would tend to agree with. He then pivots in a different direction.  Making the entire conversation about "but he didn't break any laws" is just a weird angle. He then takes the opportunity to tie in gun control, mass-shootings, and dorky politicians that are pro-gun puppets. JJ is a smart enough guy to know that he's off the mark. Maybe he's slowly animorphing into Stephen A. Smith and just...

It's never too early to start wheeling and dealing in your fantasy football league. By now, the NFL Draft is done and the fantasy trade markets should be flowing, here are a few guys to monitor and target the closer we get to camp. 1. Alexander Mattison I feel like this one's fairly obvious given today's news. Adam Schefter reported today that it's a very real possibility that the Vikings could move on from Dalvin Cook and that his future in Minnesota is "in question".  Update: "All signs point to" the #Vikings most likely moving on from RB Dalvin Cook, per @diannaESPN pic.twitter.com/UfJcVFH8sv — Dov Kleiman (@NFL_DovKleiman) May 11, 2023 The Vikings could save anywhere from $9-11 million if they cut or trade him after June 1 and it's another case of an organization turtling at a running back's asking price. In 2019 and 2020 he combined for 30 total TD's but he's heading into year 7 with a hefty price tag attached and a little a...

A Frame by Frame Celebration of: "The Halftime Show" by Creed That's right, folks. We're taking it back to the year 2001 and Creed had just blessed the music community with their third studio album, Weathered.  This album was the springboard that catapulted them into the epicenter of the early 2000's rock storm alongside other juggernauts such as Nickelback, Staind, and Hoobastank. Naturally, they were a top choice for the NFL's Thanksgiving halftime show and to say they delivered would be a gross understatement. Let me give a little background before we start dissecting the footage. This particular halftime show took place on November 22nd, 2001 - roughly two months after 9/11 and two days after Weathered had been released. What better way to honor America and promote the new album than to turn the amps up to 11 and melt the collective faces of NFL fans across the country? As if Creed shredding wasn't metal enough, the accompanying acts propelled this i...

Phil Cuzzi, Emphatic Balk Demonstration pic.twitter.com/g4ylawIFqC — Codify (@CodifyBaseball) May 7, 2023 Think you'll try a funky windup to throw the hitter's timing? Not on Phil Cuzzi's watch! On Sunday, Phil Cuzzi stomped the yard and issued a balk to Astros pitcher Matt Gage. You gotta respect the way he handles this type of thing and doesn't draw attention to himself, he's such a pro about it. Everyone knows it's a shame when the Ump Show takes over and the players get upstaged, nobody wants to see that happen. This time, Phil was simply demonstrating why the balk was called and flipping it into a teaching moment for a young pitcher. Really quite thoughtful of him.   Y'all remember Phil Cuzzi, right?  He's the ump who tossed Max Scherzer last month for having a case of the sticky hands. Scherzer swore up and down that his hand was mega tacky from a mixture of sweat and rosin. It was a good try by "Max" to pull the wool over his eyes, but ...

I asked AI to reimagine all 32 @NFL mascots and that may have been a serious mistake. 🫣 Photo 🧵 — GG (@GarryGates) May 1, 2023 This brave soul turned to artificial intelligence for new NFL mascots and the results are unsettling. Anything "AI" right now is getting a little too close to the movies out there where robots become sentient and start destroying humankind as we know it. This is the first step in our extinction and these mascots are sent straight from hell. Imagine being an employee and you're asked to crawl into one of these cursed mascot suits. AFC EAST: Buffalo Bills This one's really not too bad, but you'd have to have two people standing upright for it to work. Not very economical if you ask me. Also, it just looks like a real buffalo wearing a hockey sweater.  Alternate : This one's 100x better. Miami Dolphins Stoned, superhero humanoid dolphin with good eyebrows.  NY Jets (Mastrs Tader Artus???) I guess I can see what the computer was going f...